POP ALL THE CHAMPAGNE!

You’ve received that oh-so-sweet ask from your favorite bride. You’re in. You’re a bridesmaid! So, now what? Surely getting gussied up and standing next to the bride during the wedding is an easy task, right? Well, we’re here to talk about how being a bridesmaid in 2020 isn’t as simple as all that, but it IS just as fun!

There are lots of different things to consider when you agree to be in someone’s bride squad, and we’re here to help. Let’s break it down:

The Etiquette

It’s her day

First things first: Let’s focus on the bride. As one of her chosen ladies in waiting, it’s your responsibility to be there for her. Providing support for the bride is your number one role! So here’s the deal: She wants you to wear a dress you don’t love? It’s her day. She asks you to help hand out programs, and you’re an introvert? It’s her day. Is her dream to go to the mountains for her bachelorette party, but you’re more of a city girl? (I bet you can guess what is next…) It’s HER day! Now, that’s not to say that there isn’t such a thing as a bride asking too much of her girls (it happens). The important thing, however, is that you ‘maids are there to ensure the bride is having the time of her life as “almost Mrs.” Even if it means stepping out of your own personal comfort zone a bit.

One more thing on this front… want a calm and breezy wedding experience? Cordial behavior among the bridesmaids should be a top priority! So often there can be some tension (depending on who the bride chose to be in the bridal party)! So do your best to keep the dynamic as friendly as possible. It’s truly the most mature way to make sure all the girls have a good time and the bride always feels supported.

Financial Responsibility

Cha-Ching!

As a bridesmaid, spending extra money is a part of the process! So before you excitedly squeal an immediate “yes” to accept the job, you’ll want to make sure you have a plan to afford all the things: dress+alterations, shoes+jewelry, contributing to event costs (like décor to set up that perfect bachelorette weekend hotel room) and any travel costs involved in trips for events and the wedding itself. In addition, as far as the big day goes, there are food costs for brunching, as well as details like hair, make-up and nails. So, if the financial responsibility is too big a burden, keep in mind that it is okay to say no to standing by your friend’s side on her big day for financial reasons.

Assistance to the Maid/Matron of Honor!

Which one is the fearless leader? #MOH

Think your bridesmaid-ing tasks are a lot to handle? We guarantee that the Maid/Matron of Honor is working harder! This maid is bound to be overwhelmed keeping the bride together, so it’s kind to offer your help and support in whatever ways she needs. Planning, budgeting, delegating, you name it! Don’t forget to just be available even if the Maid or Matron of honor seems like she’s got it under control. Sometimes the most help means just contributing to things financially and allowing the leader to lead.

Pre-Wedding Events

Engagement Party? Check. Bridal Shower? Check. Bachelorette Party? Check. Rehearsal Dinner? Check. And so on!

With weddings come many events that aren’t just the big day! As a bridesmaid, you have to make sure you’re around for these events. Sometimes it can seem like there are endless functions to attend, which can be financially and emotionally daunting at times. Nevertheless, attending the bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner are the primary events you’ll be asked to go to, in addition to the wedding of course. So start counting out those paid time off days and make the time to be present!

Keeping it all Together!

(with some waterproof mascara and tissues)

There is so much to think about when it comes to planning a wedding and getting the details organized! The bride will likely have days where she needs her besties to vent to or get a second opinion from, and that is you! This is the time to encourage her, validate her opinions and offer to take some responsibilities off her hands if necessary. It never hurts to say “What can I help you with to make things easier?” Whether it’s a hug, a gentle reminder of why she said “yes” to her partner or an actual wedding task, you will be appreciated for your dedication to your main girl.

Wedding Week

Time to Party!

The wedding week will be hectic, and odds are, you will be tired by the time the rehearsal dinner & ceremony+reception roll around. However, it is in your wheelhouse to make sure the wedding guests are having fun! When people arrive into town the day before the wedding, help give instructions and answer as many questions as you can so that the bride and groom don’t have to! The more information you have ahead of time to pass to the guests, the better off everyone is. This is also a great time to get to know the bride and groom’s family to help ease their anxieties, emotions and struggles they could be having with other family members.

Other than the whole “walk down the aisle, stand next to the bride and don’t trip” thing, there are a few other tasks to remember are important on the wedding day. Help the bride make sure she has everything she needs! This includes getting dressed and having all the pieces: rings, veil, shoes, garter, hair piece, etc. Keeping the bride hydrated is also necessary as she’s probably headed for several more cocktails throughout the night with little in her stomach! One more wildly important thing is to delegate someone to help keep track of the bride’s phone+wallet+keys, as these are things she’ll need at the end of the night whether she’s leaving for a dream honeymoon in Costa Rica or just departing the venue for the after party!

As far as the reception goes, this is finally the time to cut loose and have fun. Be the first one on the dance floor and bring the guests with you! Make sure they feel welcomed and help them feel included (if a guest is alone in the corner, maybe it’s not such a bad idea to teach them the Cupid Shuffle! I am sure the bride and groom would thank you for it later). Just don’t get too wild! You’re most likely looking at one to two hours of clean-up help once the bride and groom exit the scene, and the family will need you!

ONE LAST THING. Don’t forget to take a minute with your girl to tell her how much you love and adore her, tell her how gorgeous she looks and how happy you are that she found the partner of her dreams. There’s no doubt that she’ll return all the favors and love your way when it’s your turn.